I have had this conversation with a few mummy’s lately and I thought it would be important to write a post about it
Loving yourself is so important in motherhood. Before becoming a mother we were individuals, we lived for ourselves, we had our own dreams and aspirations. Some of us found relationships, in a relationship we have to compromise, love each other and trust each other. Then on top of that we became mums, having a whole other being to love, cherish, protect and nurture. Being a woman, a mother and a partner you have to devote time do all these things. Some people may find this easy and some people may find this hard.
After being with my partner for 10 years and having two children I feel like I’ve mastered the balance. Well not mastered, lets not get carried away BUT I have definitely made improvements.
Before having children I used to enjoy travelling, going out with friends and working hard. During the beginning stages of motherhood I stopped most of this but now I ensure I do all of this.
1.The first point is travel, I mean I never stopped travelling, always brought the boys with me because travelling exposes them to different cultures and experience and I think it is very important. I do now travel for short periods without my boys. There are some holidays which are not kids friendly so I have plucked up the courage the travel without them, the longest I have done is 4 nights… baby steps guys but it is still steps!
2. Going out with friends. This is the most important thing and luckily for me I had friends who understood my situation and stood by me when I used to cancel plans on purpose because I felt guilty for spending money on myself. Going out with friends is so important. You get to let your hair down, catch up and have a great laugh. I don’t go out often but if its someones birthday or something I am ready to turn all the way up. I now get excited to go out for special occasions where as in the beginning it was like a burden.
3. Working hard, now this is a tricky one. For me I happily reduced working hours to focus on raising my boys. I wanted to build a strong foundation into them from the beginning and make sure I was there for the most important moments. For me I was able to do this without financially struggling. Ive had my children in my 20’s so I feel like I have my whole life to work but my boys won’t be babies forever. So at the moment I am not working towards my career goals but I have the holiday’s and half terms with my boys and for me that is more important.
So thats how I look after myself. Doing those things make me happy and keep me healthy, mentally and physically. I have to be able to look after myself, love myself and know myself before I can help look after anyone. That is so important to remember this because you can’t help, nurture and support others if your mental state is not loved. You can end up ill, stressed and give yourself anxiety.
Ok so partner. Being in s relationship then having children can put a strain on a relationship. Hormonal changes, body changes, family dynamics. This can all challenge your relationship. So it is very important to keep your relationship happy and healthy. Don’t just be comfortable and raise your children. Remember why you got into a relationship in the first place. Go on date nights and do spontaneous things. We try to have monthly date nights, this doesn’t need to be expensive. It could be simple as watching a movie together. Remembering to make that time is what is important.
So lastly on top of that make time for your child/ children. Is there even enough hours in the day to look after myself, my partner and my children??? The answer is yes. It is hard to find the balance and it may take a while, even years. But it can and will be done.
Love thy self.
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